Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
