if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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