Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
