dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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