oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
