Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
