The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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