Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
