Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
