So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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