Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
