you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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