Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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