So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
