I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
