that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
