I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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