Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
