Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've blown a few things in my day
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
