I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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