I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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