wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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