so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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