why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
