Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
