I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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