I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you would pick up someone in the library
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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