Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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