Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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