They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
