did you get engaged???
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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