He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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