whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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