dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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