Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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