So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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