how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
