i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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