Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
