I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
