And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
