i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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