honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
