I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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