I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
