I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
