A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
