He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
