i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize