WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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