A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
