Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
